Dear life that I want,

I see you, off in the distance there, where I'm happy to go to work again, where I'm not dreading the text or phone call from the boss, where I feel appreciated, where I can be proud of the work I do. Weekends are something I desperately miss and will welcome you back with open arms. Saturday morning farmer's markets that I used to miss because I was tired, don't worry, I won't miss you anymore. Sunday brunch, oh, how I have missed you so. To enjoy a weekend's freedom again. I miss getting my hands dirty, talking to plants, singing to them, doing something that I believe is making a difference in the world. A positive influence on the natural world because right now, if anything, I am contributing to some of the negative. I want to not be so stressed, to relax, to be able to leave work at work. I miss camping and a set schedule. I want to take cooking and dance classes, but can't because my schedule is never really set. Sure, I'll miss health insurance, stability, but those things can be found again. I'm not so worried about that. I just want to be happy, to know that I'm trying to be who I want to be. Because this isn't cutting it. This isn't living. I'm not sure what this is, but all I feel is resentment, helplessness, sadness. I don't know if I have any been this stressed in my life, that I want days... months to come and go so that they are GONE! I know where I want to live, I just have to figure out the how to where I'm not a big bundle of stress.

Hope to meet you soon,
Maggie