April is quickly coming to a close, one more week and then it will be May. This year is flying by, as it seems time speeds up the older you get. One blink and you're in a completely different time, place, situation. But today, today has been a day of lounging around, contemplating, starting things (like cleaning my room) and stopping in the middle. I have had lots of thinking time today and also lots of vegging in front of the screen catching up on tv shows. Sometimes I need those days, as long as I use the other days in a good way I'll be just fine.
April is titled "Get Off Your Ass" month and I fear I haven't done the best job of that. But I am trying to figure out what I actually want to do, not based on someone else's suggestion or desire. What do I like? I like sitting outside, laying in the grass, reading, writing, thinking, having conversations about things that matter, listening, talking... in the recent months I have discovered that I like to talk. A lot. I want hobbies, I want love, I want a meaningful life. I want meaningful work, but I also want to not be in debt, to live somewhere that makes me happy, to have an outdoor space, to have friends, to be able to go see live music and dance and laugh. I like hiking, camping, exploring, having adventures big and small. I like swings and the sun. Do I want to learn to play guitar? How about photography? Writing? I like drinking coffee, cooking, baking. But I also like laying in bed, watching tv episodes, thinking, looking out the window, spending days in a wasteful way because it helps me appreciate the busy days. But I never have busy days really. I never have days filled to the brim with activities. This life is fine, but what life do I want?
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