an open letter to the universe

Dear Future Employer,

I look forward to the day when I am not constantly writing/editing/polishing/tweaking cover letters and resumes. Especially these past two weeks I feel as though that is all I have been doing. I am tired of trying to sell myself. Please just hire me. I'm awesome. I am a hard worker, I'm diligent. I can multi-task. I know how to answer a phone in a professional manner. I know how to write a letter, hence the tens of letters I've written over the past few weeks. I can use a computer- well. I can play around in PowerPoint. I can use Word and Excel. I can send an email. I can send mail. Really... being an administrative assistant isn't that difficult. So please, just give me a job in the area I want so I can no longer think about this whole process. I will do my very best to impress you beyond belief because I do not want to go through this process for quite some time.

Sincerely,
Awesome Woman Applying to Jobs

what is really going on

I never thought I'd get to a point in my life and wonder how I ended up here. Unfortunately, here I am. I am 25, soon to be 26 and I have no life plan, no goals, no direction. I have goals but I have no direction, no idea on how to get to them. I am unhappy and am not sure how long I've been unhappy. This year has been pretty intense: I lost my last grand parent, my dog, who I got when I was 12 died, the man I thought I loved... the man I did love, well he is having a child with some woman he met after me. What else? Besides the lack of direction, lack of ambition. Oh and I am fed up with my self consciousness which stems from my self image, which I can change. At least I can change the visible things that are wrong. But it is this vicious cycle of being depressed because I don't like the way I look and trying to work on it but getting frustrated and then getting depressed... add to that fun roundabout the fact that I lack motivation, that I have no idea how to accomplish just living somewhere. Oh yeah and I sold my car, so living outside of town isn't fun right now. So I need to move to a city, but I need a job to move. More fun.

Geeze, I feel great right now.