Currently, my life seems to be constantly changing. I'm not sure if the me of today met the me of 2 or 3 years ago that they would like each other. I'm a realistic now. I see things how they are and I try to accept them. I feel as though there are so many things that I dealt with before simply because I was in that state of mind. Now, being back in Tallahassee makes me realize how much I miss the new me, the environment of the new me, anyway. The new me is here... just trying to deal with the moment at hand.
I am amazed at how small the world is in this town. There always seems to be 2 or 3 degrees of separation, instead of 6. It seems as though there is always someone who knows someone... Its not that this is really that frustrating, its that there are all of these connections but no one really knows about them.
I am just anxious. Anxious to drive cross country. Anxious to be in California. Anxious to see people I've been missing. Anxious to start a new internship. Anxious to maybe start a relationship. I'm trying to just take the possible relationship slow, just one day at a time. I just want to get there. I know soon enough I will be, but I'm still anxious about it.
So I'm excited and frightened and nervous. I'm torn between wanting to go and not wasting my time here. I feel like I have so much and so little to do. My mind is constantly moving, constantly changing. It is just constant right now.
I hate driving home sometimes, simply because I become so alert during the drive that when I get home I have trouble sleeping. All I want right now is to communicate, but I can't as it is almost 3 a.m.
Oh well. I tried.
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