Change, change, change

A while ago I was thinking about changing the title "I always end up here" because at that moment, it sounded negative, hopeless, but today I see it as hopeful. Maybe the "here" I always find myself in isn't such a bad place to be after all.

The situation with Tom and I finally hit a brick wall. It exploded and I'm glad that it did. I finally understand what I knew. I finally listened to him and not just heard. I think I'm fine now. I know I am. No more of that talk with him. I feel so much better. Hopefully we'll see how it turns out the next time we see each other.

So, as it turns out, I was too forward. You have to play this game, this back and forth, on and off and that's not in my personality. So I need to learn how to do that, so I don't come on too strong, so I don't scare away. I'm a work in progress and you are too.

The only good thing about this whole situation with Tom and I is that I've started writing again. This is good because I haven't really been writing lately at all. But it's events, emotions, all of these things that make writers who they are. Yes, its imagination, but you can't write a good story about heartbreak, about love, about loss, about LIFE if you haven't experienced anything.

So I'm writing. It's my therapy. It helps me get over shit. Instead of going over and over it in my head I can write it down. I can even change the outcome if I want, but in this story, well in this story I'm not. Its more creative non-fiction than fiction, but it works.

So, here's to a good weekend. Change: moving back with my Mom, being more of the girl I want to be, etc.